How drinking alcohol changed my life

This isn't going to be a post about how I've become an alcoholic.

Many moons ago, I used to be teetotal. Through school and university, I never touched a drop of alcohol. It was always just ingrained in me that I didn't drink. The initial reason was simply that I didn't like the taste (okay so I had one drop), but then the reasoning kind of evolved when I started working at my Students' Union club, and I used to see these 18 and 19-year-olds absolutely off their faces, looking a real mess. And I always told myself I never wanted to be that.

But as I got older, alcohol just became a constant factor in my life. I wasn't drinking it, but I was always around it. It was always "do you wanna go for a drink" or going on nights out, and alcohol would be the star of the show. So it makes sense that sometime in my mid-20s, I relented. I knew I didn't like alcohol enough to become addicted, but I thought maybe it'd help me in social situations, and I wouldn't feel like such an outcast for not drinking.

So actually, I turned out to be right on both fronts. And I'm by no means saying that I need alcohol to function in certain situations, but of course, part of the effects of alcohol is that it loosens you up a bit. And as someone who is a heavy introvert, sometimes this is welcome. Of course, the risk of this is that if you drink a bit too much, you become a completely different person, and the first few times I was "drunk," I didn't think it had a detrimental effect on my behavior. In fact, I don't think people would really be able to tell if I have been drinking. I like to consider myself a high-functioning drunk.

Also, with this, I ran the risk of constantly wanting to drink because I wanted to have that feeling of being a bit more loose and confident. But in reality, what that actually did for me was make me more confident when I was sober. I knew I had a slightly more zany and outgoing personality in me; alcohol exposed that, allowed me to act on it, and then I was more often able to be that person without having a drink... did that make sense?

Let me just reiterate that this post is not an endorsement of alcohol or telling you to go on a bender. We all know the negative health effects of alcohol, but dare I say that having a bit of a drink with my friends, having a dance (which I probably wouldn't do sober) actually makes me happy. And of course, there's a fine line; drinking can lead to a multitude of awful situations, but talking about myself personally, I think exposing myself to alcohol has only heightened my social experiences. Of course, my liver might have something to say about that. But also, a caveat, I don't want this to sound like I'm drinking constantly... because I'm really not.

So fast forward to today... I would say my relationship with alcohol is very healthy. Because actually, I wouldn't say I drink THAT much. I'm not one to go to the pub and have a pint; I wouldn't really have a glass of wine with food. Usually, I succumb to it when there is a special occasion or I'm like... on a date. I am able to be responsible when I need to be, and if I am drinking with friends, then I always try to make sure that I'm in a fit enough state to ensure everyone gets home safely.

I'm glad that I've been able to establish a healthy relationship with alcohol. I'm happy to say that never do I "crave" a drink. People will tell you to cut it out completely or even argue that it should be banned. No one is claiming that alcohol isn't a detriment to your health. But as humans, it's our choice to decide what to do with our bodies; people smoke, eat fast food, and do all sorts of stuff that puts their health at risk all because they want to have some sense of feeling good in that moment.

So I think I've said most of what I wanted to say. I think there will come a time when I stop drinking completely, but I feel as though now I'm trying to catch up with all the years that I missed, and part of me does wish I drank while I was at uni. But hey-ho, it's also not that deep, and I was probably better off both physically and financially for not partaking.

If you ever want to buy me a drink, just know I like cocktails, rum, and gin. Not Espresso Martinis though... f*ck them.