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UK halls of residence descends into anarchy after wi-fi goes down for 12 minutes

A halls of residence at a UK university has had to add an additional safety precaution after problems with WiFi lead to complete “anarchy” among the students.

The halls of residence, which costs a mere £250 a week to live in, experienced a fault with it’s WiFi which caused it to go down for a whole 12 minutes. Vigilant students were quick to realise the fault with many taking to Twitter to vent their frustrations.

@stealyochick123 tweeted “WiFi down. How am I supposed to get to the chillin’ without the Netflixin’.

@proveimthefather tweeted “Rah, I didn’t even know the wifi was down. I just thought he was ejaculating for a really long time”

The ordeal evoked a selflessness among some students. Gus Ripley, 22 said “My 45 Twitter followers must’ve been worried sick. Anything could have happened to me within that 12 minutes”. He is now looking to take legal action against the university for “perverting the course of Augustus.”

This has been a long line of issues plaguing the residence when a couple of weeks ago a cleaner left the thermostat on an odd number. A university spokesman argued that the students “get what they pay-“. 

NOTE: The rest of this quote has been cut off as our student researcher ran out of printer credits to print the whole thing.

It’s safe to say that the University doesn’t want a repeat of this situation so are now in the midst of devising a WiFi safety plan which has been prioritised higher than fire drills and emergency first aid. Simon Williams, a spokesman for the University, has said that the University plans to throw all their resources into the new safety plans even stating that lectures may have to be postponed to accommodate.

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Fortunately no deaths have been reported but one student was injured when he fainted after realising that he was not living in a 1 bedroom apartment but had in fact had 4 other flatmates. The lack of WiFi forced him to leave his room where he made the shocking discovery.

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