Endings can be hard. And we always try and rationalise it - maybe it's "for the best" or maybe it's "the start of something new". And even though these can be true it doesn't make the end any easier. I mean the only reason why we rationalise it in the first place is because we know it's a hard thing to go through. And there is an end to everything. Everything has its time and it will come, no matter how far off you think it is or no matter how long you try and run from it.
A bleak start - I know. Are all my posts a bit bleak at the moment? I'm sorry - I guess it just shows you where I am mentally at the moment. A lot of change, introspection and new perspectives can unfortunately lead to bleak outlooks on life. However if I am trying to rationalise this bleak outlook I can argue that it's important to be cognisant of endings so we can adequately prepare. See what I did there?
I think every time I write these posts it's always in response to something I've realised about myself. So what have I realised this time? Am I coming to the end of something, is someone coming to end me... or maybe it's just the fact that I struggle with the idea of things ending.
It's sometimes very easy to get attached to things in your life. Whether its a job, a person, a pair of shoes. And even though that job may no longer be right for you or that person has moved on or that pair of shoes is on its last legs it doesn't stop you clinging on to something that you once had in the hopes that it can flourish again. And actually this is still a possibility, sometimes an "ending" can be a red herring and actually the story continues. But this very idea becomes a bit more tricky when there are more moving parts, other people involved and actually "the end" is no longer in your control.
So what's my problem? Why can't I let go of things that I probably know I should. I think the answer is quite simple. I've had many experiences now that have ended, some I have been okay with and others not so much. The most satisfying endings come with closure or some level of dnouement. The Harry Potter series didn't just end when Voldemort died. Those moments before the end prepare you for it so it becomes difficult to accept an ending that doesn't allow you to do that. Especially when some things remain unresolved. Imagine if you never found out who Gossip Girl was or we never found out who shot Phil Mitchell. Uproar. And rightly so.
Resolution is important, and even though resolution may not lead to the outcome you want at least you've had some level of control over how that outcome comes to fruition. And then there's no second guessing, every party knows whats up and you can both move forward with your life knowing exactly what went down. Because actually, it's the not knowing that kills you. Not that the thing has ended. We all know things end but having some sort of power over that ending can be a great help in how we then process it.
Sometimes that's robbed of us, sometimes we don't even know it's happened until it's too late and sometimes it's our own doing because preparing for the end is admitting that the end is coming. Have I outed myself here a bit? Hmmm maybe... but whatever. Of course I was always going to relate it back to people and relationships. People will tell themselves that it's best to cut things off, other people will also tell them that. And I am not saying that's necessarily the wrong thing to do but I do think if we start something we always have the responsibility to end it with care and dignity, no matter what it is.
Don't start something you cannot finish - of course we don't always know that we can't finish it before we start but at least try. I'm sure you'll feel better for it.