I feel like I might've already written a post with a similar title not too long ago... well, them be the breaks.
Let me just start by saying, happy new year! I hope 2023 brings peace, good health and happiness. Every year throws up it's own trials and tribulations but I hope you have the strength to take on any challenge that life throws at you.
Anyway, enough of the sentimental stuff. When I first started this blog I always made a point of saying that I really don't know what I'm talking about most of the time. Now, of course a lot of that was hyperbole, some of it was low self esteem and some of it, was actually true. I'm not an infallible human, I'm biased and sometimes I just get things wrong. And as much as I do urge people to take everything I say with a grain of salt I still want these posts to have some sort of positive impact on those who read it. And although I am very rarely an expert in the things I talk about, hopefully there is something within my content that can resonate with whoever reads it.
Well this is what I used to believe, I mean I still believe it to a certain extent but as much as I see myself as a man in a dinghy trying to save others from the sea, I have quickly realised that actually, I'm in the sea with them. I'm no hero, no arbiter of wisdom or knowledge. I am drowning. Panicking most of the time, blurting things out and doing anything that I hope will save my life. And it makes me question if I am even the write person to be writing a blog like this. I mean, very rarely I'll get a message of someone saying that something I wrote really appealed to them, but at that same token what if they're the only one. I mean of course I'm grateful for that one but at the same time it does make you doubt yourself. Don't worry I'm not about to get on the self pity train because if I do I wouldn't know where to get off.
I always used to see myself as someone who was quite emotionally resilient. But in fact I think I'm the opposite, and often people tell me that externally I don't show my emotions or give much away about how I'm feeling but that's probably because at any one time theres so much happening internally that I wouldn't even know how to portray it (more about this in a future post). I think this blog is actually proof that I am not as emotionally void as people think I am or as I thought I was. These posts are never anything I'd say in real life, but hopefully you get a sense through my writing that whether I'm talking about mental health issues, or how much I hate tomatoes that I do it with some level of passion and conviction.
And here's the real kicker, this blog is really a cheat sheet into my life. With so much about me out there free for you to read you don't even have to meet or talk to me to get a sense of who I am. This blog is me. I'm not trying to sugar coat anything, I don't want to deceive anyone and I most certainly do not want to tell any lies. Having thought more deeply about this, it is quite a scary thought. Don't get me wrong I'm not displaying every intimate detail of my life on this blog but there is a lot on here which normally, you'd only learn about me after a good chunk of time of getting to know me.
And that's okay. Social media has made it so we are all avatars and sometimes we forget that there are real people behind these profiles who are probably going through the same struggles you are. Everything you see is curated, a highlight reel, the best bits. And although it's safe to say you are only seeing a small percentage of anyones life on social media, for me, I have no need to show you just the highlights. You'll get the best and worst, I am not a robot and this blog is here to show you just that.