It must be said there is a lot of things I don’t understand about the crazy world we live in. Such as quantum physics or politicians or… girls but I have given up trying to comprehend these enigmas. There is one thing about human nature and the way we interact with people that I have been attempting to get my ahead around recently.
And if you’ve been reading this blog for a while this is honestly nothing new. It’s something that I’ve touched upon various times. Anyway enough of the suspense. I’m talking about our opinions of other people mainly our friends. And this idea manifests itself in several different ways. Let me start with the overarching concept though.
So basically what I am getting at is the idea that your opinions of someone can change drastically because of one incident. Now of course there are instances where one thing can happen that does completely change your perception of someone. But having said this going from a loving relationship or a strong friendship to pure hatred is quite confusing to me.
You know what’s hard? Hating someone. To actively dislike someone takes a lot of work. Trust me, loving is a lot easier. But should a falling out or disagreement warrant you to all of a sudden talk crap on the person that you probably said “I love you” to a week prior. Why should one bad experience completely eradicate everything that has come before. And as I have stated there are situations that warrant this but a lot of the time they don’t. Are all the good memories and times you had with this person completely eradicated. Of course not, nothing can really change those memories. So even though you’re feeling this hatred and dislike towards this person and you calling them the worst human being in the world… don’t kid yourself. They have proven that they’re not. Of course opinions change and stuff happens. You can go your separate ways but things don’t always have to end so bitterly. Get on with your life, don’t hold a grudge and focus your energy into finding something positive.
And this kind of act can take many forms. One I’m sure a lot of people are aware of. You know when you get rejected and all of a sudden that person you wanted to hook up with isn’t “all that”. Absolute madness. This doesn’t even need explaining. But just because of our ideal version of reality doesn’t come to fruition doesn’t mean we need to blame other people. We’re all going to have a disagreements we’re all going to be rejected, try seeing things from other people’s perspectives and move on. Someone having opposing or conflicting views to yours doesn’t make them a bad person.
The best thing you can do in any situation of falling out or conflict especially if its with a friend is trying to find common ground whilst looking to understand where the other person is coming from. Never make assumptions for why they are acting the way they are acting and always being kind with your words. Nothing productive has ever come from two people attacking each other… actually that might be a lie. But anyway I can guarantee you you’ll feel better because of it. And even if the other person isn’t seeing how understanding you’re being, it’s still worth it. Maybe one day they’ll realise but if not you’ll be safe in the comfort knowing you acted with dignity.
Has any of this made any sense to you? I don’t know if I’ve done a good job at perfectly articulating myself. But then again, when have I ever done that to full effect. I’m a bit of a mumbler if you haven’t realised. Holding grudges is long, talking crap about people you don’t care for is long and getting yourself tangled up in unnecessary drama is the longest of all. Not every conflict you find yourself in has to end in a drama you know. Sometimes it isn’t even always necessary to explain yourself to people.
Pick your battles, fight them well and fight them smart.
And that’s all she wrote.