Hi, me again. Happy New Year, I guess. I don't think I've spoken to you since 2024 started. Thank you for being here. This is an interesting post. I mean, all my posts are interesting, but this one more than others. A couple of months ago, I wrote a blog post called "Letting Go."
In that blog post, I just wanted to try and articulate the mad concept of letting someone go that you were so involved with. I said a lot; I think it's worth a read. But in this post, I actually want to come at this from a slightly different angle. Instead of talking specifically about a situation where you might be forced to let go, I want to take a more holistic approach.
People are going to tell you to let go of a lot of situations. It's probably the most cliché advice someone can give you. Now, of course, just because it's cliché doesn't mean it's not valid. There probably are a lot of situations you need to "let go" or "get over," but have you ever thought that actually, some situations you shouldn't do so?
Now, this might just be me trying to validate my own feelings of not being able to sufficiently let go of things, but having said that, I can think of a number of times I have been able to let something go. So, I don't think it's that. Because when I have been able to let things go, it is because it felt right, and I made the decision to do so. I wasn't being forced by external forces and didn't do it because of the constant nagging of people telling me it would be best that I did.
This isn't to say that I haven't held on to things for maybe a bit too long; I definitely have. But you can only truly let things go when you are ready to. And this might mean you hold on to things for a while. And that's okay. You'll go through the motions, emotional discomfort, overthinking, jealousy, and sure, these things can eat you up. But every time you feel something like this, it's also just a part of processing your emotions. Some people will do it better and faster than others, but we should all give ourselves the space to wallow. You don't just get out of an intense relationship and suddenly be okay. You will have to face your demons, have some emotionally difficult times, and eventually be in a position where you are able to effectively put systems in place to start that "letting go" process.
The term is bandied around like something that is just easy to do. "You need to let it go." "Just get over it," people will tell you. But always remember that the people giving you this advice aren't in your shoes. And even though they may be giving you valuable advice, only you truly know what you should do. It might be hard or you might go through a period of not knowing... but you get there. People can give you directions, but once you reach that door, only you can open it.
The people closest to you will always have your best interest at heart; their advice is only an attempt to get your happiness back on track as soon as possible. But have you actually ever felt like you should be sad, or you should be angry, and actually you don't want to be happy or feel okay about the situation just yet? Please say you can understand where I'm coming from. I don't want to sound crazy.
And it does beg the question of whether we truly get over or let certain things go. I think there are moments in your life that change your very core that will always be a part of you and will always make you feel some kind of way. Either that or I'm just not as emotionally stable as I'd like to believe... hmmmmm. No, I do believe it; we go through so many things in our life, and when you think about the amount of things we have to process all the time, it feels only normal to me that there will be some things that take a lot longer or things that you will never process.
And that isn't meant to be a bleak outlook. Something I touched on in my previous post was that I wish I could be someone who lets go of things easily. But I never will be that person. I'd like to think that this isn't indicative of me being some controlling sociopath but instead alludes to the fact that I feel I am quite emotionally sensitive, and I put my all into everything I do in my life.
And after reading this, you might realize that you're the same, and it's okay. So, the next time someone who isn't Elsa tells you to 'Let it go,' just think about whether you're actually ready to and if you even want to. Because even though you might feel like this now, which is okay, there'll likely come a time when you will be ready and you will want to. As long as holding on to something doesn't lead to serious destructive behaviour, do what you need to do. Oh, and also, trust me, the worst thing is letting go of something good that might also make its way back to you.