Have you ever called someone crazy? Of course you have. In any given situation, we always like to believe that we are the normal ones and everyone else is crazy, although those same people you label as crazy also believe that they're the normal ones. Of course, it's all down to interpretation; in some situations, it may be a bit of a grey area, while in others, someone may be acting objectively crazy.
But when you think about it, it's actually narcissistic to think that we don't all have a tendency to act crazy, and we are always the normal ones. I actually think we are all closer to crazy than we think. Because, of course, on a day-to-day basis, we all get on with our lives, do everyday normal things, and don't act out of the ordinary. But the truth of it is that for any average human being to act out of character, there has to be some sort of trigger. Some people have higher thresholds than others, but I think we all have something that can lead us to act a bit erratically.
And it takes a lot of accountability and self-awareness to be able to step back and ask yourself whether you're acting rationally right now. Of course, we're biased, and even though deep down we know that we may regret our actions later, feelings and emotions take over, and before you know it, you're acting in a way that you wouldn't dream of in normal circumstances. The question is, does acting on these impulses make us crazy people? I mean, that's up for debate, but it should make you think twice about labeling someone else as such.
Now, this isn't a defense of bad behaviour. Even though there may be a reason for a given behaviour, it doesn't make said behaviour right or justified. Sure, we should all have the space to be able to act irrationally once in a while, but we also need to be able to recognise that this is the case.
And there is another level to this. Have you ever thought something crazy but not acted on it? I believe sometimes these are labeled as intrusive thoughts. We all have them, but thinking something crazy and doing something crazy are two completely different things. Sometimes it takes a lot of restraint to not act out things that our emotions are pushing us to do, whether it be physical or emotional. Although being violent or physically aggressive isn't in my nature, being "emotionally aggressive" is. That's a term I literally just coined, but I think it makes sense.
And I doubt I'm alone in this. When we've been hurt, our initial instinct is to cause hurt to the person that hurt us. There are many better people than me out there that can have this as a fleeting feeling and be able to move on. And although I never go out of my way to hurt people, the feelings can sometimes linger. You start to believe that you actually might be crazy because why on earth would you want to cause emotional harm to someone, someone who more than likely had no intention of doing that to you. And then, of course, you start to spiral because you can't just stop or move on, and the more you think about it, the more scenarios you make up in your head of how you can emotionally damage someone else... each scenario "crazier" than the last.
But okay... they stay in our heads, but surely it's only a matter of time before a thought becomes an action? Right? Because that's what worries me... maybe I'm weak, maybe I'm crazy, maybe I'm both... maybe I need therapy; who the hell knows, and sharing this is obviously putting me in a place of vulnerability, but there is an upside to all of this.
I don't have to worry, and you don't either. If you think crazy but don't do crazy, then you're already on the right track. Next, speak to people who you trust, people who won't judge you for having these crazy thoughts. Just being able to vocalize your feelings, you'll soon realize yourself how crazy you sound. But above all of this, that time and energy you're putting into feeling this way about a certain situation are probably best served somewhere else.
There is so much out there, so much life, so much love that you can be exploring, yet you're sitting here thinking about catfishing your ex. You're not a crazy person; you're processing a set of emotions that maybe you haven't experienced before, so of course, you don't know how to react. Of course, your mind will go to some dark places, but no matter how dark it gets, there's always light somewhere... and you will find it. No matter how long it takes.