People say I get annoyed easily, and I’m not going to lie I do. So I’ve compiled a list of annoying things and things I just don’t quite understand.
1) Advertised Relationships – I didn’t care when you were single so why do I care now you’re in a relationship?
2) When someone’s walking straight towards you and you think they’re going to move and they don’t and you’re having this stand off (or walk off) and you shimmy to your left/right right at the last second to avoid the collision. Sorry but if I didn’t move just then we would have walked straight into each other. What kind of mind games are you trying to play here?
3) Crap chatters – When you’re just there minding your own business and you over hear a conversation of someone just chatting complete and utter… well.. crap. You wanna jump in but you know that’s not socially acceptable.
4) Slow Walkers – Walking on a narrow path and the person in front is walking in slow motion and you’re waiting for that right time to overtake. You wait and wait but that integral moment never comes. So your walk turns into a slight run or skip and you find yourself meandering into the road or a bush then when your mission is accomplished you make that swift getaway.
5) Breath – Breath… oh my gosh… breath. Probably the worst thing about the human body. Your breath can either stink or just smell like nothing. No one has naturally nice breath if you know someone that does please introduce me to them. Also why does it have to be so hot? Damn hot breath on your face is just vile.
6a) Conversation Stoppers – We all know those people who send a single text that says “Lol”. Why are you deading this convo? I’m using every last ounce of wit in my repertoire to keep this conversation going and all you want to say is “Lol”. If you don’t want to talk then I would rather you just said or just didn’t reply at all. “Lol” how am I supposed to respond?
6b) People who just don’t reply to messages – That message was a good 3 or 4 lines. I want a damn response.
7) “Can I Help you” – I know this is the norm and just the thing to say when working in retail but if you think about it, it is pretty dumb. I’m standing in the queue so yes I would like your help, I don’t have a fetish for queue standing.
8) “Do you want a bag with that” – Sorry for you people who work in retail, but yeah you can obviously see the item in question is too large for me to carry without a bag or I have bought like six items, I think I’m going to need a bag.
9) Receiving Change – This is the last one to do with retail I swear. My hand is out in an open palm. This clearly identifies the geographical position of where I want my change to be placed. So tell me, why are you putting it on the counter?
10) Pigeons – Is it me or are these things getting a bit too brave. You know something’s wrong when you stamp near a bird and it doesn’t even flinch.